If you do, the first thing you need to know is that you are not alone. In fact, we’re all in this together. I strongly feel every individual encounters this phase when life asks extremely tough questions. And just because we cannot answer every unpredictable question, most of us develop a feeling of hopelessness. However, these trying times are essential for your transformation into a stronger and more positive individual. Feeling not good enough can make you or break you. I’m sure you want to make your way ripping those dark clouds hovering over you. Are you pumped up for the challenge? Here are 11 things to do when you think you’re not good enough.
1. Stop Comparing and Competing
Everyone is wired differently. But the problem with most of us is that, in the quest to become like everyone else, we lose our originality. With that, we lose an integral quality: self-love[1]. The never-ending comparison with people can evoke a sense of worthlessness, especially today when social media feeds are full of amazing photos to compare out lives to. However, these tidbits don’t represent the complexities of life. One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”[2]. The more you compare, the worse you feel. Take a moment to admire the great things in your own life, and only compare yourself to who you were yesterday.
2. Recall Your Past Achievements
If you can feel you are not good enough, trust me, you are capable enough to feel proud of yourself. Any positive emotion from your memory book can uplift your mind and rejuvenate you. Be it the smallest thing, any sense of your past accomplishments will help negate the feeling of uselessness. Switch on your positive reminders. It’s the perfect antidote.
3. Deactivate the Thinking Mode for Some Time
Fortunately, this isn’t as hard as it sounds. The mind is a powerful thing, and in a nanosecond, it can elevate or crush your mood because of the beliefs lurking behind your feelings. When you think you are not good enough, remember it is just the frequency and quality of thoughts that need to change, not you. Everyone encounters these hard times where you can’t do much to change things. The best approach is letting this phase pass without overthinking. Instead of thinking and worrying, do something to take your mind off the negative thoughts. It could be exercise, painting, reading, or talking with a friend. Find what works for you.
4. Express the Negativity
Expressing negative emotions is imperative. It is the quickest way to unburden yourself from the misery of feeling not good enough. Simply put, whenever you sense something is not right around or inside you, speak out! It might require valiant courage in the beginning. If you don’t have someone around to speak out, write out your negative feelings in a journal. This is another way to offload the thoughts that are causing you problems.
5. Choose the Right Person to Share Your Lows
You just cannot unveil your pure unfiltered emotions in front of everyone. This involves a level of vulnerability that demands trust and safety. When you are expecting a shoulder to lean on that is not there, the effects of feeling useless may intensify and aggravate your pain, so this choice must be a careful one. Make sure you flush out feelings of your hard times to one who knows you well. You may not get the advice you’re looking for, but you may get the strength to go through the tough times if you know you have a support system behind you.
6. Offer an Act of Compassion
Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering[3]. Yes, one of the best ways of reviving your higher self is by uplifting others. When you fulfill the emotional or financial needs of others, not only does it bring a smile to their face, but it also makes you feel content. Don’t believe me? Try it! Whenever you’re feeling like you’re not good enough, follow compassion. Try out some of the ideas below if you don’t know where to start[4]:
7. Focus on the Process Rather Than the Results
Do you frequently think about the possessions attached to success before achieving something? It is a common syndrome with many people in this fast-paced, materialistic world. We think about the name, fame, and luxury attached to success so much that when we come back to reality, it leads to frustration and impatience. We simply lose focus that adversely affects the execution of the process. Why? Your mind refuses to endure because it has tasted success in imagination. Then, insecurity seeps in to provoke the thought that you are not good enough. Wondering what to do? Resist the temptation to overthink success by developing self-control.
8. Work out to Experience Liveliness
Feeling not good enough? Most of the time, a small workout session is all you need to push yourself back to life. Any form of exercise not only detoxifies your body but also releases happy hormones in our mind. You don’t need to hit the gym every time; there are many exercises to help you stay on track from home. A healthy body and mind is the best combination to recover from your lows speedily.
9. Stop Fulfilling the Undue Expectations of People
Are you always trying to fulfill others’ expectations of you? Most of us have been doing this for a long time. If yes, you are digging your own grave. Not only will you lose people, but you’ll also lose your individuality. If it continues, you won’t be able to respect your priorities. It is bound to evoke the feeling of uselessness. Learn to say no to expectations and, instead, follow your own path with the people who accept it[5].
10. Stop Criticizing Life and Start Appreciating It
Are you blessed with the basic necessities of life needed to qualify for happiness—food, clothing, and shelter? If you are this fortunate, you are ahead of most of the world’s population. So, whenever you think you are not good enough, just stop and appreciate your life for all the blessings it bestows on you. A healthy sense of gratitude enables you to see the bigger picture, and you adapt to demanding situations better. If you’re not sure how to develop a gratitude practice, check out this article.
Final Thoughts
Look on the bright side! You are one brave individual who has the guts to accept that something isn’t quite right. Not only that, but you are also ready to fix it. If you are not feeling good enough, that means your feeling quotient is working fine. And that’s great! The only concern is the uncontrollable negative thoughts that drive you away from positivity. What you need to do is slow down the thinking process and gradually revive your positive self. Always remember: Whenever you feel down, you need to handle yourself with extra love and care.
More on What to Do When Feeling Not Good Enough
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Featured photo credit: Ivan Karasev via unsplash.com
